Love & Disconnection

By Lance Howard

Perhaps our greatest fear is of disconnection. By “disconnection”, I mean not belonging somewhere and, or, not belonging with someone. It could be said that we loathe the sense that we are not loved, that we are not wanted, or that we have no community to share in. “Belonging” is the feeling we have in the experience called “relationship”, “friendship” and “family”. This fear of disconnection appears to be real! When it arises, it feels so true and seems so normal that we don’t even question it. 

Until a certain age, children have no fear of being unaccepted, but as we grow up our sense of belonging is challenged by the disapproval expressed around us and to us. We have a deep desire to know that we are graciously accepted by someone. The anxious feeling and idea of being out of this “grace”, not being seen, not being accepted, not being wanted, or not being loved is crippling. We want to be the center of someone’s genuine affection. We want to make someone the center of our affection. We want to belong somewhere, with someone, and let them know they belong with us.

From a young age, the fear of disconnection fuels our attempts to fit in and we quickly learn how to use this common fear against others. Most of us have accepted the Ego-based suggestion that we are not lovable. Ego, part of each one of us, is the controlling nature of our mind and fear-based self-understanding. Said another way, Ego is a fear-based mindset that results in ignorance of true identity and true purpose.  This happens because little in this world informs us of how valuable we are.

There is a fundamental philosophy in our culture that we are unworthy unless we abide by specific social expectations and certain systemic orders. Our culture teaches us how ultimatums and feigned peace are the source of value in relationships. Our idea of “love” and “peace” is a sort of, “Do as I want you to do and be as I want you to be, or else…” Sometimes our idea of “love” is, “I’ll do what you want, just don’t leave me (alone).” Our notion of “peace” is,”Give me what I want and need, more or less, and I’ll give you what you want and need, more or less.” We make arrangements like this all the time, in the false name of “peace” and “love”. We give and receive this kind of “love” and delude ourselves that it is The Real Thing: True Love.

It should not be surprising that minds of the greatest deficit of love yield grave injustices upon others who have failed to bring the desired attention. Such injustices may be considered irrational. Perhaps a reasonable  amount of forgiveness could be necessary, or applicable, in such situations. But, for those who are at a certain deficit of Love, such a consideration is hardly feasible. Such individually conceived grievances are the great cause of our world’s pain. Yes, we are conceiving what we are perceiving, because, more or less, no one can make us think or feel anything. No one can enter our mind and flip the switches of our thoughts, emotions, and choices. Regardless of how gullible or impressionable the mind is, we typically agree with whatever we feel and that is Choice at work, regardless of how automatic, immature, or ignorant that choice is. This is not an easy pill to swallow. All of this happens because we do not truly understand Love. The influencer or perpetrator doesn’t understand Love and neither does the impressionable mind or innocent bystander. Both are choosing and acting from a deficit of Love, the remnant of FEAR (false evidence appearing real). Both are acting out a false reality on a false stage of what they think life is and what’s important in the moment.

It seems to me that to be human is to truly desire and require Love far above any other experience. I think our fear reveals that quite easily. To feel that we are not loved, not connected, or not belonging somewhere, leads to the lowest hell of our existence. Love is the pinnacle of our dreams! We can endure everything so long as we are aware of beloved-ness as well as the meaning and purpose beloved-ness brings. When we know we are valued, we have the greatest reason to hope, dream largely, and contribute healthfully in our world.

Earlier, I stated: “Ego, part of each one of us, is the controlling nature of our mind and fear-based self-understanding. Ego is a fear-based mindset that results in ignorance of true identity and true purpose.” Perhaps, this begs the questions: What is the freeing nature of our mind? What is the mindset that results in true self-knowledge? If Ego represents the illusions of who and what we are, what represents the reality of who and what we are? Love is the answer. It has been said throughout the ages that, “God is Love”, meaning, as I translate from ancient Hebrew and Aramaic (see Love, goodwill and affection for all, to all, with all, as all, is The Creative Reality: True Identity and Purpose.

It has been said that “Love is all you need,” creating the sentiment that the answer to my suffering, your suffering, and the world’s suffering is Love. This leads to a deeper understanding of the ancient sayings, “Love your neighbor as yourself.” and “Do to others as you would have them do to you.” The Truth is: If we want the world to change- become a place of equity which, undoubtedly, would require Love, you and I must learn what Love is and be that, by first Loving ourselves. That is the only hope the world has. Movements centered around “Love” have come and gone or, at best, dispersed because they do not truly understand, model, and share what Love is practically in our day to day lives.

We have ignorantly hoped that organizations and governments might build a just world for us, but that has never worked and never will. By the word “just” we should be meaning “loving”. You are here to build the world with your own hands, uniquely unified with the hands of other people in your community, no matter how small that community is. What banner you and those people display is a distraction for division. So don’t hold one! Simply be human. Simply be the “image of God”- Children of Love. No other entity is necessary. No business license, name, label, or logo is required. Simply be humans working together. Neighbors loving themselves and one another, as one another.

What I have come to realize in my personal journey is that Love is what We Are and that is precisely why we seek to find it and save it. What I’m saying is a great mystery and is the universal foundation of our purpose. We are searching for ourselves but are looking in the wrong places. Our modern cultures teach us to look everywhere except Within. But, for those who will look in This Most Consistent & Significant Place, the truth of Love will be found- leading to true self-knowledge. When we find Love we find our power to change our families and communities. This is how we change the world!

We have feared disconnection from others but have missed the greatest disconnection of all, to our True Self. Fear of disconnection and of being unloved has always been an illusion based in ignorance of Truth and false-identity, steeped in an Ego-driven world. We have lived for so long in The Matrix of Fear that we have not understood how Love is the Truth. That is why THV exists. Helping people understand True Identity and Purpose by actually experiencing the Truth rather than simply philosophizing and dogmatizing about it. Love is the Truth. Love is what you are. Love is what we are. It is what we are made of and that is why we seek to find It, save It, and express It. Love, belonging, and connection begins within ourselves first. We are being guided to that experience, even through our troubles. THV exists to help.

When we know we are valued (loved), we have the greatest reason to hope, dream largely, and contribute healthfully in our world. Love is your very nature. You are important! Experientially learn this! Learn what It feels like, how It operates. You can use This Power, The Power of Love, The Power of Your True Identity, The Power of Your True Nature to change your life in every way! 

Let me show you how. Click below to make an appointment for your FREE Identity Process session today! 

Categories Bible, community, culture, Emotional Intelligence, fear, Identity, Love, Peace, purpose, self development, self-help, selfloveTags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

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